(written in india/china)
the hipler: this traveller spends their time going to the rarest places. it is difficult to say if they actually enjoy their experience whilst walking a pilgrimage trail and smoking american spirits. nevertheless they will get more legit credit once returning to williamsburg. again amongst their kind, they will listen intensely to any conversation as to get in a "well actually, when i was in this little village in Mzuzu..." as to add legitness to their pretentiousness which unfortunately is legit.
the motorcycle diaries: this traveller has the dream of driving across the south of whereverland on a motorcycle. typically male, this particular traveller has the perfect melange of emotional and adventure like attitude that most women would prefer. contemplating life and admiring picture perfect scenery while gripping the handles of a manly vehicle, would make any man mysterious enough to make any woman think that he could handle gripping the handles of a relationship.
the misled dread: usually found in places of hippy origin, either swaying their bodies while 'oming' to intense rave music or enjoying a vegan milkshake, this traveller will not let anything get in the way of a good party. many of these travellers will never be seen in more than a group of three: either solo, a couple, or family. they are easily recognized by their abundance in tattoos and piercings. most have a goth beach look happening and will not come up short in the dreadlock department.
the lonely plan it: (guest writer) this traveller knows with close to 100% accuracy where she and her uber efficient travel companion will be staying months before she even gets her malaria jabs. lonely plan it types would not be caught dead in any hotel, guest house, bar, shop, restaurant or town, not highly recommended by their guide book. this book worm will also expect prices on the street to be the same as they are in the book. if you as well, plan to be at the train station two hours early, you may be lucky enough to spot them. just look for scenes of mass confusion at the ticket counter. they can also be seen gripping their guide books as they stroll nervously around (enter tourist attraction here).
the 'merica: 'in america', their sentence usually starts. this proud traveller will link almost everything to american or middle eastern politics. they will boast of other countries they have been to about every other sentence (to make sure that you know that they are cultured), comparing it to the country you are currently in. exaggeration is one of their strongest qualities and they tend to be 'know it all' types as well. it is not uncommon to get easily frustrated with this traveller. they love to be competitive which is believed to have originated from the 'reach for the stars' attitude that the usa has implanted into the minds of their young. be wary of the late thirties to early forties in this category, especially if they are from a famous urban capital.
that one black guy: no joke, this traveller is the bell of the ball. he is a rare species among traveller kind. originating from america / canada, this traveller usually that likable black humour that any caucasian person would be too scared not to laugh at. this traveller has no issues when it comes to the ladies. especially in east asia. seriously. like a gumball machine. chew the gum for like 5 minutes until all the flavour is gone, spit it out, stick in a quarter and get a new gumball. they also prefer luxurious places. however, if they are staying in a hostel, it is rare to find them in the dorm, but the private rooms. you can usually spot this traveller in china, hong kong, taiwan, and sometimes south korea.
the dog whistle backpacker: this traveller somehow always looks her best while travelling who knows where. she packs her nicest clothes, and yet somehow they are still appropriate for travel. she carries her self well, and it seems that every guy is hanging on her every word and whim. she says things like, 'a super cute family of rats ate all of my underwear!' >pouts< then laughs and says, 'isn't that SO funny?'
she has that 'i'm a disheveled beached out boho chick, but you still think i am hot. isn't that SO funny?' look.
but seriously, she looks great all the time. how it's fair? i don't know.
xo.
vb.
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