it seems these days that i have been using korean girls as my scapegoat for getting guys to stop hitting on me. i say things like "but what about all the hot korean girls around here? if i were a guy, well. i would be all over this right?" or "what about those two korean girls over there? awesome. go get some of that." does this make me just as bad as the guys that come over here and want a little bibimbap? if ya know what i mean.
i want this topic to be non-offensive, unrelated, and light-hearted to the people living abroad here in korea. just something that i feel that has been on my mind and needs to be thought out...in public. this is just everything i have learned and noticed about the dating culture here. and kinda a rant. just kinda. okay it's a rant.
i can fully understand why the guys here have got a little to full blown yellow fever. by all means a whole nation of slim, cute, hot, beautiful, plastic surgery ridden, and naive women who think that every white man looks like brad pitt. who wouldn't? even i find myself with a complex that no girl should ever go through. then why do i still find myself scoffing at the guy that would never get a girl back home with a trendy beyond gorgeous korean girl hanging off his arm? making disapproving faces and snarky remarks as they pass by. what is wrong with this picture? are these men taking advantage of a culture that doesn't know any better? are korean girls as naive as i think they are? i think it can go both ways. admiring both culture's exoticness. i normally wouldn't put it quite as delicately. but you get my drift.
fact: if you are enrolled in the american military and get married to a local; you receive cost of living allowance (COLA), basic allowance for housing (BAH), seperate rations (food money) and your significant other also gets enrolled in tricare which is the military health insurance (yeah wut up, i researched it). not to mention the sweet exchange of citizenships. could possibly be some encouragement to date a korean. aw yeah benefitttssss.
a friend brought to my attention that a lot of these men are quote, "BHL's" or "back home losers". some too sweet for any girls back home, some lacking in the looks department, some specifically fetishizing asians, some too old, and some genuinely looking for love. but the standards are different in asia from the western. some guys hold this standard of western mindset to these korean girls, and they can't deal. so they either complain and wimper about how their girl is too whiney, controlling and clingy but still manage to work through the relationship for obvious reasons. but if the guy can deal, then they seem to be happy and content that they even have a woman to call their own. for me personally, i think that when you date someone of a strong culture, despite all of the traditions and weird differences; you still end up dating the culture and that is something i personally can't deal with. i guess i am not that open to culture as i thought i was. or maybe i am being too harsh on myself or not enough. it's kiiiinda annoying when korean girls stop to take pictures and hyperventilate over western guys. perhaps everyone deserves an ego boost. but for real. too much.
example: i was sitting on the stage waiting for a friend. she arrived and we noticed a group of western guys sitting on the stage. then we see a shy group of korean girls coyly approach them. IMMEDIATELY the guys sat straight up and puffed out their chests. pret-ty sure that these girls were no older than 16. what does it feel like to go from one country mediocre, to another country and be glamourized? does it get tiring? like how a celebrity gets tired of fame? "oh my, too many girls think i am so attractive. they only want me because i am foreign." BOO HOO.
this brings me to my next point of the vice versa. western girls. where do they fit into this whole equation? at first i used to think that western chicks got the butt end of this whole dating thing. even though i do know that the blonde hair, blue eyes thing is uber attractive to korean men. this all will forever go both ways. however, korean men will never be as forward as western men. therefore the chances of the western girl, korean man combo are quite rare. but my thoughts always wandered, do western girls get yellow fever? sure. the korean men are well-groomed, tall, fit, and sometimes look prettier than the girls. but i think it is fair to say that the majority of western girls don't really want to date or otherwise be with a korean man. korean men lack, a form of manliness and attitude that western girls crave. like facial hair and chopping wood. one big circle of superficialness.
quote from an asian american woman: as an asian girl growing up in the united states, i believe i was taught by the society to be attracted to just about everyone besides other asian men. this marginalization of asian men has occurred, in my view, for several reasons. first, the media never portrays asian men in a dominant role. they are always portrayed as nerdy, geeky, brainiacs, with no sense of themselves and no ability to attract women.
in other words, the media portrays asian men as incapable and undesirable. second, american society has many negative stereotypes towards asian men.
it has become a complete joke to think that an asian man could ever "satisfy" a woman. their "manlihood" is the constant subject of jokes and insults. for this reason, most women view asian men as asexual and feminine.
for these reasons, asian girl, and women in general in american society are taught to view asian men as undesirable and feeble.
as you will see, this is the reason why asian girls are now up for grabs... asian girls in our society, because of their conditioning, on the whole do not prefer to date asian men.
although, i can say that this subject contains loads of double standards, and i of course have used my asian-girliness to my advantage. it's not like i'm oblivious to it. going to school in the heart of toronto really made me aware to interracial dating. i avoided dating at all costs because i could not discern whether or not having an asian girlfriend was just a trend or not. don't judge me, i just didn't know.
quote from an american man: (8 reasons why korean girls go for western boys)
5. westerners are more likely to treat you as an equal. it's not a universal concept among all westerners yet, but it's a concept that westerners have had decades more practice at.
6. we offer a way out of korea. if you've been looking for a way out, western guys do offer a way.7. we don't really like the flower boys either. we're a bit more manly than that. so what if our closet isn't overflowing with tight dress shirts and polka-dot bow ties? jeans and nice-looking shirts are all the western guys need for going out after work is done. also, if we get a flat tire while you're driving, we can change the darn tire ourselves without worrying about getting our pretty shirt dirty or calling some errand man.
8. we can talk about interesting things - much more interesting than work, clothes, drinking, and that crazy boss of ours. quite a few of us sing, dance, play an instrument, write, cook, act, and many other things.
what it basically comes down to:
guys want to be physical with korean girls, but want to date western girls.
western girls want western guys.
i suppose there is a happy medium. on both parts.
of course these are stereotypical conceptions / misconceptions. but there is no doubt in my mind, that there is the odd occasion that that sweet honest genuine guy finds / settles for the perfect girl in korea. i am not saying that korean girls are brainless, and definitely not saying that western girls can't be ridiculously good looking. but stereotypes come from somewhere.
regardless, these are just my thoughts. yeah they are pretty much really silly. don't take it to heart. i'm not trying to prove anything. who knows i could be completely and utterly misinformed and living in a dream world.
read more: http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/why-asian-girls-are-looking-for-western-men--15060.html#ixzz148Tvj3DJ
Under Creative Commons License: Attribution
I've never been stared at, talked to, or hit on more in my life than when we lived abroad as white minorities. Being different has always attracted attention - both positive and negative. Despite overwhelming evidence to support the deep-seated desire to 'be the same as everyone else', the truth is, we are all trying to make our mark. Clothes, hair, lifestyle, hobbies, and partners are all things that define us to the rest of the world. And, in the privacy of our bathroom mirrors, we like to pretend the rest of the world is watching. Maybe it's something we all have in common? Every culture. Regardless of social norms, politics or trends. That we all, desperately desire to be noticed, different, admired. So naturally we gravitate toward the exotic.
ReplyDeleteSome days I miss being famous. But mostly, I am happy to be at home, in a place where everyone else's standards of beauty are similar to my own. The world is much easier to understand that way.